How to Choose the Right Toy for Your Experience Level

Quick Answer

To choose the right toy for your experience level, start by assessing your comfort with size and texture. Beginners should opt for smaller, softer toys with simple shapes; intermediate users can explore moderate lengths and gentle curves; advanced users may enjoy larger sizes and more complex features like knots or forks. Always prioritize body-safe materials and your own comfort.

Choosing a new silicone toy can feel overwhelming when you're faced with a wall of sizes, shapes, and firmness options. The key is to match the toy to your experience level, not just your curiosity. Whether you're just starting out or you've been exploring for a while, there's a toy that fits your skill and comfort.

In this guide, we'll break down what to look for at each stage—beginner, intermediate, and advanced—and give you concrete decision rules to help you shop with confidence. We'll also look at a few specific toys from Strange Bedfellas Shop to show you how the specs translate into real-world use.

Understanding Experience Levels

Experience level isn't about how many toys you own—it's about how familiar you are with your body's responses and how much sensation you can comfortably handle. A beginner might be new to penetration or prefer gentle stimulation. An intermediate user has some experience and can handle moderate sizes or textures. An advanced user is comfortable with larger sizes, more intense textures, or complex shapes.

When you're choosing a toy, think about what you've enjoyed before. If you've only used small, smooth toys, jumping to a large, textured one might be uncomfortable. On the other hand, if you've mastered a few intermediate toys, you might be ready for a new challenge. The right toy should feel exciting, not intimidating.

• Start with a toy that feels slightly smaller than what you think you can handle—it's easier to step up than to struggle with something too big.
• Consider your preferred type of stimulation: g-spot, prostate, or general fullness—this can guide the shape you choose.

Size and Girth: The Key Factors

Size is the most obvious factor in choosing a toy, but it's not just about length—girth (circumference) matters just as much. A toy that's long but thin might be easier than a shorter but thicker one. Pay attention to the measurements: total length, usable length, and the circumference of the head and shaft.

For beginners, look for a toy with a head circumference around 4-5 inches and a shaft circumference that doesn't jump too quickly. Intermediate users can handle a bit more girth, maybe up to 5-6 inches at the widest point. Advanced users might enjoy toys with a wider shaft or additional features like knots or forks.

• Measure your comfort with a simple rule: if the head circumference is larger than what you've handled before, it's a step up.
• Remember that usable length matters—don't get a toy that's too long to insert comfortably.

Firmness and Texture

Firmness affects how intense the toy feels. Soft silicone (like 0030) is gentle and flexible, great for beginners or those who prefer a squishy feel. Medium (0050) offers a balance of support and give, suitable for most users. Firm (10A) is more rigid and intense, often preferred by advanced users who want stronger pressure.

Texture also plays a role. Smooth toys are easier to insert and move, while textured ones (like ridges, bumps, or veins) provide extra stimulation. Beginners might want minimal texture to focus on getting comfortable, while advanced users can enjoy more complex surfaces.

• If you're unsure about firmness, start with soft or medium—they're more forgiving.
• Consider how you'll use the toy: firmer for targeted pressure, softer for a gentler experience.

Shape and Design Features

The shape of a toy influences how it feels during use. Simple, tapered designs are easy to insert and move. Curved toys can target specific spots like the g-spot or prostate. Knots, forks, and other features add complexity and are usually better for advanced users who know what they like.

For example, a fork shape (like the Tenta Fork) has two prongs that can stimulate different areas simultaneously—this is a more advanced feature. A knot toy adds a bulge that requires more accommodation. Beginners should stick to straightforward shapes, while advanced users can explore these unique designs.

• Think about what you want from the toy: targeted stimulation, fullness, or a new sensation.
• If a feature sounds intriguing but you're not sure, look for a smaller version to try.

Decision Rules for Choosing by Experience Level

• Beginner Rule: Choose a toy with a head circumference of 4-5 inches, a shaft that doesn't exceed 5 inches in circumference, and a soft or medium firmness. Keep the usable length under 6 inches. Look for toys like the Small Fornax 4.0—smooth, moderate size, and forgiving.
• Intermediate Rule: You can handle a head circumference up to 5.5 inches and a shaft up to 6 inches. Soft to medium firmness is still fine, but you can experiment with gentle textures or curves. The Medium Ceela fits this level—soft, with a bit more girth and a curved shape.
• Advanced Rule: You're comfortable with head circumferences over 5.5 inches, shafts over 6 inches, and you can handle firmer silicone or complex features like knots, forks, or heavy texture. Consider toys like the Medium Batou or Tenta Fork—they offer larger sizes and unique shapes.

Product Examples and How They Fit

• Medium Ceela -- Soft silicone -- C-2679: Medium Ceela has a total length of 6.25 inches, usable length of 4.75 inches, head diameter of 1.5 inches (5-inch circumference), and widest shaft diameter of 2.1 inches. This is a good intermediate option: the soft firmness (0030) is forgiving, and the moderate girth (head circumference 5 inches) offers a step up from beginner toys without being extreme. The soft texture helps ease the transition.
• Small Fornax 4.0 -- Near Clear 31* silicone -- F-3182: Small Fornax 4.0 has a total length of 6.75 inches, usable length of 5.5 inches, head diameter of 1.25 inches (4.25-inch circumference), and widest shaft diameter of 1.75 inches. This is a great beginner option: the head circumference is under 5 inches, making it easy to insert, and the near-clear silicone is smooth. The moderate length is manageable, and the firmness (31*) is slightly firmer than soft but still flexible.

Finding Your Fit

Best For

• Beginners who want a smooth, smaller toy with soft firmness
• Intermediate users looking for a moderate step up in size and texture

Not For

• Advanced users who need larger girth or intense textures
• Anyone who prefers very firm toys and strong pressure

Choosing the right toy for your experience level is about being honest with yourself about what you enjoy and what you're ready to try. Start with the decision rules above, consider the size, firmness, and shape that match your comfort, and don't be afraid to ask questions. The perfect toy is out there—it just needs to fit you.