Strange Bedfellas Shop

How to Choose the Right Size Toy for Your Body

How to Choose the Right Size Toy for Your Body

By Strange Bedfellas Shop | Published: 2026-09-02

Category: Buying Guides

Find your ideal toy size with practical rules on measuring, girth, and firmness. Learn which shapes suit beginners and experts, and when to size up or down.

Quick Answer

To choose the right toy size, measure your current comfortable girth and add no more than 1 to 1.5 inches in circumference. Consider the toy's shape and firmness, as softer silicone can feel larger than its measurements suggest. Start with a smaller size if you're new to a shape, and always prioritize comfort over stretching.

Choosing the right toy size is about matching the toy's dimensions to your body's comfort and experience level. While length matters, girth (circumference) is usually the limiting factor. A toy that's too thick can cause discomfort, while one that's too thin may not provide enough stimulation.

This guide gives you concrete rules for measuring, comparing, and deciding. We'll cover how to use the supplied measurements, why firmness changes the feel, and when to size up or down. You'll also see real product examples to illustrate the points.

Measure Your Comfort Zone

Before you shop, know your current comfortable girth. Use a flexible tape measure or a piece of string to measure the circumference of your largest toy that you can use comfortably. That number is your baseline. When comparing new toys, look at the 'circumference' figures, not just the diameter. For example, a head circumference of 4.8 inches and a shaft circumference of 5.5 inches tells you more than a diameter alone.

Remember that toys are not uniform. A toy with a pronounced head and a tapered shaft, like the Medium Joh, may be easier to insert than a toy with a constant thick shaft. Look for the widest point and the head measurement to understand the challenge. If you're between sizes, choose the smaller one—you can always size up later.

  • Measure your current toy's girth as a baseline.
  • Compare circumference, not just diameter.
  • Note the widest point and head size.

Firmness Changes the Feel

Firmness affects how a toy feels even if the measurements are identical. A soft (0030) toy bends and compresses, which can make a wider shaft feel more forgiving. A medium (0050) toy offers more resistance, so it may feel larger than its measurements suggest. Near Clear (31*) is a translucent silicone that tends to be firmer and less squishy, which can be a different sensation.

For example, the Small Tyv comes in both Soft and Near Clear. The soft version may be more comfortable for someone new to a 1.5-inch shaft, while the near-clear version might feel more intense. If you're unsure, choose a softer firmness to ease into a new size.

  • Soft silicone compresses more, making a toy feel smaller.
  • Medium or firmer silicones hold their shape, feeling true to size.
  • Near Clear is often firmer—check the firmness rating.

Consider the Shape and Taper

The shape of a toy influences how easy it is to insert and how it stretches you. A toy with a pointed tip and a gradual taper, like the Medium Stahl, allows you to ease into the widest part. A toy with a blunt head, like the Medium Joh, may require more warm-up. Look for the 'useable length' and the 'diameter of the head' to anticipate the initial stretch.

Toys with a pronounced bulge or knot, like the Medium Dragon Claw, have a sudden increase in girth. These are more advanced and should be approached with caution. If you're new to a shape, start with a smaller size or a softer firmness to accommodate the shape change.

  • Tapered toys are easier to insert than blunt ones.
  • Knots and bulges require more experience.
  • Useable length tells you how much of the toy actually fits inside.

Decision Rules for Choosing Size

  • Rule 1: Measure your baseline girth: Use your current comfortable toy's circumference as a starting point. Add no more than 1 to 1.5 inches for a new toy. If your baseline is 4 inches, aim for a toy with a widest circumference of 5 to 5.5 inches.
  • Rule 2: Compare head and shaft measurements: Check the head circumference and the widest shaft circumference. The head is what you insert first, so it determines initial ease. If the head is much smaller than the shaft, the toy will stretch you gradually; if they're similar, it's a more uniform girth.
  • Rule 3: Adjust for firmness: Softer silicone compresses, making the toy feel smaller. Firmer silicone holds its shape, so it feels true to size. When in doubt, choose a softer firmness to make a larger size more comfortable.
  • Rule 4: Consider shape and taper: Tapered toys are easier to insert than blunt or knotted ones. A gradual taper allows you to control the stretch. If you're new to a shape, pick a tapered version or a smaller size.

Real Product Examples

  • Medium Joh -- Medium silicone -- J-609: Medium Joh has a head diameter of 1.5 inches (circumference 4.8 inches) and a widest shaft diameter of 1.75 inches. Total length is 4.75 inches, useable length 4 inches. With a moderate girth and a shorter useable length, this toy suits someone comfortable with a 4.8-inch circumference head but not ready for a very long toy. The medium firmness adds stability, so it's best for those with some experience.
  • Small Tyv -- Soft silicone -- T-5805: Small Tyv has a head diameter of 1 inch (circumference 3.75 inches) and a widest shaft diameter of 1.5 inches. Total length is 6 inches, useable length 5 inches. This is a beginner-friendly size: the soft silicone compresses, making the 1.5-inch shaft feel more forgiving. It's a good starting point for someone new to toys or wanting to practice with a gentle taper.

Who Should Choose What

Best for

  • Beginners: Choose a small size with a soft firmness, like the Small Tyv, to ease into play.
  • Intermediate users: A medium size with a moderate taper, like the Medium Joh, offers a satisfying stretch without being extreme.

Not for

  • Advanced users seeking a challenge: A small soft toy may not provide enough stimulation; consider a larger size or firmer silicone.
  • Anyone with a very high baseline girth: A toy with a 1.5-inch shaft may be too thin; look for wider options.

Choosing the right toy size is a personal process that balances measurements, firmness, and shape. Start with your baseline, use the decision rules, and don't rush. The goal is comfort and pleasure, not pushing past your limits. When you find a size that works, you'll know it—and you can always explore more.

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